Phantasm (1979)


Directed by Don Coscarelli

I remember the first time I saw this back in 85 when I was a child (Hey, I am only 23) that the Tall Man was one of the scariest motherfuckers I had ever seen! The Tall Man being Angus Scrimm of course who performed the same role in a string of Phantasm films throughout the 80's. This one, being the first of the series, leaves a lot of areas unfilled. When something starts to happen or the plot begins to unfold, it ends abruptly. They were definitely planning the sequels ahead of time I guess. The Tall Man is the undertaker of a mortuary in a small town and he basically kills people, shrinks the corpses, and uses them as slaves in this world and another. He also uses a small flying sphere as a weapon to end his victims lives. "The Ball" is pretty kickass. In this film you get to see some blades and a drill protrude form it and stab into some old guys head and drill for brains. Sound fucked up? It is. See this movie and the sequels as well.  – Jeffrey Kusbel



Premutos  (1999)

Directed by Olaf Ittebach

This is possibly the most violent and bloody film I have ever seen in my life. The first time I watched this movie I just sat with my mouth hanging open in amazement at the mounting body count. The same man who brought us The Burning Moon directed this German gorefest. I’d tell you his name, but I can’t think of it right now. I’m not quite sure what the plot is in this movie, because all of the dialogue is in German, but take my word for it, this isn’t a movie you see for the acting or dialog! Basically an ancient curse awakens the dead, and we are treated to many scenes of zombie mayhem, and possibly the most headshots ever committed to film. I’m not even going to go into detail as to how the zombies and people meet their doom, because I really don’t want to spoil any of this film. If you are into gore this is THE movie that you have been dying to see.  – Mike Hochins



Puppet Master 6 - Curse Of The Puppet Master (1998)

Directed by David DeCoteau

This is set a few years after the earlier Puppet Master series ended. A professor, who had bought the (killer) puppets at a garage sale, then sets up shop to display his puppets as they move & do tricks for the public. Helped by his pretty daughter (fresh back from college) & a timid local boy he hires as his assistant (his former assistant has mysteriously disappeared), who is routinely picked on by local bullies.

The Professor wishes to make his own living puppets using the boys carving talents. He tells the boy “You must put your soul into your work”. The boy nicknamed “Tank” and the daughter develop a spark between them & do the nasty. The bullies from earlier attack Tank and the girl (molesting her a bit)  which sets up a revenge scenario with the loyal puppets. The puppets seek vengeance and kill the boys w/ a bit of cool gore. Tank starts to weaken and weaken as he comes close to finishing his best puppet.

I love it when the asshole sheriff bites it, more slicing and dicing from the little wooden monster’s than a Ginsu commercial! By the way the zombie / demon looking puppet “Blade” with the knife / hook for hands rocks In a cool twist the seemingly devoted puppets inexplicably attack the Professor ruining his evil plan. Not an amazing movie but the acting was decent and the plot was okay too. I hear Fullmoon is now making Sub-Species 4, hell yeah!  – Dale Roy




Rasputin - The Mad Monk (1966)

Directed by Don Sharp

Man, what a great flick! This is my personal favorite of the Hammer Horror classics. As soon as Christopher Lee arrives on screen to announce “I am Rasputin” you know this evil looking bearded guy is gonna be a fucking nut. And a nut he proves himself to be as he uses his strange healing powers for his own benefit. Rasputin consistently get’s drunk and layed throughout this movie and a commanding attitude (reminding me somewhat of early Clint Eastwood roles: Pale Rider, Hang ‘Em High ect.) let’s you know that he won’t be asking for what he desires. Not much gore to speak of, except for the hand severing scene in the beginning, but this film was made in a time when a movie like this didn’t need it and probably would be worse with it (you mean due to the cheesy special effects of the time? - Dale). Now I’ve gotta look into getting myself an authentic Rasputin beard to wear for the next time I watch this.  - Jeffrey Kusbel




Sex Wish (1976)

Directed by Victor Milt

Some of you guy’s may disagree but today’s prono’s suck! Yup, fuck you too! Well, you know sometimes I will find something out of the ordinary. Anyway, back in the 70’s and the early 80’s porn was a lot more risky, sleazy and perverted like the XXX flicks spewed forth from the production company Avon. So, it’s no coincident that I’m reviewing this 1976 Avon classic. I thought I read somewhere this was a porn spoof of Death Wish? Maybe an influence to the director but an actual blueprint. The story goes that upon arriving home after 2 weeks, I forget, I believe Harry Reems plays a pilot. So anyway Harry’s wife to be is all excited to see him and decides to fuck him in the bathtub  and then the action ends up in the living room. Harry blows his load and has to head out to do some paper work. Wife to be is of course left alone and that’s when madman Zeby Colt infiltrates the home. Harry actually bumps into Zeby in the hallway on his way out.

Alrighty, back in the house Zeby is having a ball with Harry’s girl. He first tapes her mouth shut then handcuff’s her and fondles her tits with a vibrator. Zeby also takes that vibrator and shoves it into her pussy to take her temperature and jack’s-off. All the while changing his personalities from a little boy that sounds like Andy Kaufman to I suppose an abusive mother that begins to whip, punch, beat and slap (yes, all shown) and eventually killing the girl by banging her head over and over again on the floor. Even that’s not enough as he finish’s of the young women with his cane sword (which he carries everywhere). Harry of course he finds his girlfriend dead and calls the police blah blah. Harry becomes hell bent on finding the killer, in meantime he goes out and gets drunk with some of his chick pals and of course ends up in a three-way. Harry hit’s the streets thereafter looking for leads as to the identity and location of the killer. He ends up hooking up with the next door neighbor they become good friends and fuck the night away. Zeby is up to no good still as he breaks into a black couples home and forces them to have sex in front of him, he ends up cutting the woman's throat and slicing of her old mans cock. Harry makes head way and finally is able to track down the psycho at a fag club. Zeby is gunned down by Reems in the back room of the club. So there you have it, pretty cool eh? Sex, gore and violence and it’s shot on film. That’s what I call a good time.  – Bill Connolly



Shaun of The Dead (2004)

Directed by Edgar Wright

I know there are a lot of horror fans who were not into this because they thought it was a shot at the genre, like we can laugh at those who watch them. But it is not and the more I learn about the creators the more certain I am about this. They run a comedy movie company but this movie is in their style and it was meant as a tribute to the genre.

Shaun is a 29 year old slacking loafer, who has been neglecting his girlfriend in a big way, she feels he does not do enough upkeep on their relationship and does nothing but the same basic things with his time, video games and the same pub etc… Well she dumps him right in front of his friend & roommate Ed (who is funny as hell and does not give a fuck), who is his partner in the above and tries to cheer him up by getting pissed with him out of his brain, the two stagger home and pass out.

They wake up the next morning with hangovers and are initially hilariously unaware that a massive zombie outbreak has taken place. Shaun walks around the neighborhood to get a drink from the corner store, utterly oblivious to zombies walking around in the distance and the not so distant. He returns back home to find Ed looking into the backyard at a supposedly drunk girl, they soon find out she is the walking dead - all hell breaks loose. They load up with weapons and booze to find parents and his girlfriend, which turns out to be a real undead invasion blast. For those wondering there is plenty of gore too, an impaling, a record in the face, flesh biting and exposed innards, all the lovely things we zombie flick followers crave.

I will not give away too much but we do get to do some great traveling through ghoul territory both by car and by foot. With the film doing the lions share of it’s finish up by them holing up in their favourite bar, boarding it up and what not (hello tribute to Romero, in fact much of this film is a tribute to his works). The pacing is very good in the film and the camera work very competent. I think I will keep this review short for a couple of reasons, one you either will like this concept/style and make sure to see it or you will hate it before you even try and will not bother, second reason is because I am days away from FINALLY finishing this issue and I want to wrap up this section and get the damn thing printed already! So check out this film.  - Dale Roy




Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Directed by George A. Romero

This is George A. Romero’s first in his great series of zombie flicks (true to his visions the man made zombie movies in 3 consecutive decades (‘60’s/70’s/’80’s)) This is the black & white classic which center’s on an abandoned (very recently, probably due to the zombie outbreak) country farm house where a couple different small groups of living people hole-up and try and battle their way out to help while keeping everyone within safe from zombie assault. Surprising amount of good gore in a movie so old! You get to see zombies eating meat off human bones, chewing on livers and playing with intestines. You get to see also a freshly zombified daughter within the house brutally stab her mother to death with a small gardening shovel - Great! I remember the first time I watched this being shocked at the surprise ending. True classic and a must see go rent/buy it now!!  – Dale Roy



The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

Directed by Dario Argento

I’m sick of hearing how shitty Trauma and now Stendhal Syndrome is. Why are so many hung up on Argentio doing a flick exactly like Suspiria, Deep Red, Tenebrae? It’s bullshit!! I’ll admit it took me a few viewings to fully absorb and truly get a grasp on the storyline. The basis of the story is centered on a psychological disorder, which causes one to faint when presented with great works of art. Stendhal Syndrome is in fact a real psychological symptom which detective Anna Manni falls victim too.

We find out Anna is on assignment in Florence to meet with local authorities to exchange info on a brutal serial killer who murders and rapes women by blowing their heads off with a shotgun at the height of his sexual orgasm. Now, if that isn’t cool. Upon a visit to Florence’s Uffica Gallery Anna faints, overcome by her psychological disorder. One of the most striking and memorable images of the film comes when Anna is passed out, wherein she pictures herself transported into a painting swept under the ocean and kissing a large fish, the whole scene is draped in rich blues similar to Suspiria and Inferno. Anna regains conciseness and is confronted by Alferdo Grossi who just happens  to be the killer, outside the Gallery. Eventually Grossi makes Anna one of his victims, starting by murdering a young women right in front of her, were we witness a bullet at close range entering and exiting the woman’s head (though the digital effects are not believable at all ).

The whole incident leaves Anna with a complete personality break down even at one point acting and dressing like a man. Eventually Grossi takes Anna captive. Strapped to a mattress Grossi has his way with her (very violently I might add) with a razor blade. Anna passes out and Grossi leaves, Anna free’s herself from being chained to the matters and waits for Grossi to return. Upon his return, Anna sure enough kicks the shit out of Grossi and even unloads a few rounds from his own gun into him. Well, film over right? Wrong, when Anna’s new boyfriend turns up murdered, Anna can’t help but think that Grossi is still out there. Just what the fuck is going on here? It’s really not all that complicated. Anna was sent to a shrink by her police chief , the shrink turns out to be a headcase himself and ends up killing Anna’s boyfriend and then trying for her. So does Anna get some death? That, I will not give away.

Alright, now I did like STENDHAL SYNDROME but honestly I was left going duh at some of the holes in the plot.  For starters, we find out so little about the killer Grossi, why he kills and that he was married and his wife knew of his crimes. A very interesting idea that should of been developed much more.  The second thing that really bothered was that the end of the movie twist, what a half ass attempt at BIRD WITH A CRYSTAL PLUMMAGE and TENEBRAE!. The third problem was the casting of Asia Argento as Anna. Asia I loved ya in TRAUMA, but you playing the “tuff  bitch” lead role here is not you! So, anyway I came away with a split decision on STENDHAL SYNDROME. We’ll see what WAX MASK does for me  - Bill Conolly



Virgin Among The Living Dead (1971)

Directed by Jess Franco & Jean Rollin

I finally managed to get a fully UNCUT english language print of “Una Vergine Tra I Morti Vivienti/Christina Princesse De L’Erotisme” (Virgin Among The Living Dead). Many I bet remember seeing this one at the local video store during the early eighties. 

This is probably Franco’s more well known and widely distributed titles that was severely over-worked with soft core sex inserts thank’s to Jean Rollin (Living Dead Girl, Fascination) being hired to replace the soft core sex with zombie scenes. This is by far one of my fave Franco Films and a fucking weird flick this is. On the death of her father Christina is summoned to the secluded family mansion in the British Hondrus for the reading of his will. There she meets her bizarre, vampirific, corpse-like relatives who practice strange occult activities. Soon she is haunted by her father’s ghostly apparition, unexplained supernatural occurrences and strange manifestations and begins to have nightmares of being raped by zombies.  God damn! Fucking great shit or what? Oh, it’s get’s even better with lesbian blood drinking (yeah, we see a chick with a pair of scissors cutting another girls tit and lapping up the blood) a sex orgy in the outdoors, a rape and Jess Franco playing a perverted deth mute. I’m not going to lie and say this is a gorefest (sorry to disappoint the gorehounds) and the story a coherent and easy to follow one. Then again this is a Jess Franco flick, and you either love or hate that fact.

I think the problem people have with Franco as a director is that his approach to film making is way to avant-garde for the basic FREDDY and JASON horror fan. Franco films are just basic images (be it nightmarish, sexual, etc) put to film and like most dreams don’t make a lot of sense. Virgin Among The Living Dead works for me visually, and who’s going to argue the fact that there is some fine chicks( with hairy bushes who get  naked alot) to set the “boner meter” off. Go ahead and call me a lame ass Franco fan, but as bad as Franco films are, they’re alot like Lay’s potato chips: “bet you grab for another one”.   – Bill Conolly




Water Power (1977)

Directed by Shaun Costello

He it is, the infamous Gerard Damniano’s XXX enema rapist flick starring the one and only Jamie Gillis. I can’t think of a better picture suited for the likes of the vile Gillis. This picture till this day has yet to be released in the US.. Forget about even a dub version for you freaks in the UK or Canada. Supposedly the copy I got from Blackest Heart is the complete, uncut and totally uncensored version. The “be all, end all?” I have a feeling though there is a more complete version. In the meantime, how about I fill you in a little on the Waterpower. Jamie Gillis is a really fucked up pervert (kinda like his real life self, check out his home videos) that breaks into womens homes and starts giving them enemas against their will. Pretty brilliant shit eh? I mean how does someone come up with that shit?

Jamie is soooo hateful and fucked to these women, referring to his victims as “dirty whores” and believing he must rid them of their filth. I was expecting to see a lot more poop, not the case. This is what leads me to believe there a more complete print out there. You get too see brown water leaking from the ladies asses but I didn’t find that too extreme at all. I did find disturbing that Gillis whacks off to the site of the ass sprayings. Besides giving enemas Jamie of course fucks the hell out of the women forcefully I might add. Anals, blows and he even has his way with two sisters, one he de-virginizes and a women police officer who he bounds and  gags. A police officer you say? Yeah, ya see Jamie gets the whole city in a panic so the police set up a special task force to bring him down. Jamie, our hero, of course is too slick for them and alludes arrest and till this day is somewhere still out there. Waterpower is a must see for Jamie’s performance alone but you maybe disappointed with the fact that it’s not totally that extreme when it comes to the enema scenes. Check out the Lady Gourmet review for vile shit eating videos!  - Bill Connolly